three cups obesity, seven cups social anxiety.

(made in 3/19/19)



It seems that I have worsen my predicament, and this, obviously, is not what I wanted. What method did I use, you ask? I regurgitate info, idealisms, or knowledge  that I didn't have in the first place in places where they require correct info, idealisms, or knowledge in it. I know I'm taking this on something small that happened today, but I tend to overlook them and today I have correlated this to my past mistakes.

It is human to make mistakes, but my predicament is that I've made too many. I need to stop to making them because I can no longer be described human by then. In addition, I still have my social anxiety. It isn't a good fit when someone who has such commits mistakes that exceed the limit that defines being human.

This frustration has gotten worse because of the fact that I need to redeem myself for the shit I've done when I was still unaware of what I was doing. That era, I regret more than this. I've been an asshole for numerous times, and I still am but I tend to overlook moments where I wasn't even an asshole. My mistakes aren't merely things I thought that are but aren't, but they're rather lack of common sense. No one can afford to lose their common sense as much as i lost mine. It is impossible, unless you wish to defy being human, being an FA about it as you are untethered by the present reality. I don't want to be an FA, I'm here to improve, and it seems that I can't improve that no matter how much I've tried.

I beat up myself too much, I am aware of that. It's something I never wanted, but it's something I need in order to be aware on how to improve. If I don't want to repeat history, I need to improve upon my actions and physical attributes.

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